The search for the right nanny

So, now I am searching for a nanny. I Posted to Craig's list and sent some e-mails to other posters. Had an interview today with someone that I think would be great, but she doesn't have a car and she wants more money than we can afford. Sheesh. Feeling resentful toward N since he is the source of so much frustration. I have to put in all this time and money because of his antics. I KNOW that we will find the right nanny for him. I am trying to not obsess over the fact that the Summer will be different and we'll need someone to work longer hours. I am trying to focus on the present and what he needs now. Who knows what he'll need in a few months? It could all change anyhow.

I do have some good news. He had some tantrums - in the store and at home. And, he was able to calm down. He even noticed that he calmed down and he said 'Mommy, I calmed down.' in a very sweet voice. I gave him a high five. Of course, before he calmed down, I was hit, pinched, kicked and screamed at. I was embarrassed at the store. I always think other people think I am a terrible mom for letting my kid 'get away' with that behavior. But, they don't live with the kid and have no idea. Besides, what other people think is their private business.

Also, N has started at the developmental preschool and he seems to like it. But, he is in the honeymoon period. We'll see how it goes. He really hates his daycare and put up a fuss about going there afterward. My husband had to stay there for a while before N would actually join his class. Good grief. N takes so much energy out of us. I feel like sometimes, there's none left and I don't know how to replenish it.