search for a diagnosis

So, now I have to get a diagnosis. We have virtually no support over the Summer. I have backed down when I had the opportunity to possibly get help for N, because I felt ignored and judged. I don't have that option anymore. I believe N has bipolar disorder. Trying to find a psychiatrist with availability in their schedule is impossible. Trying to convince the pediatrician that my son has a serious mental condition is difficult. It is unsavory to think that a 4 year old can have so much violence and aggression within him rather than put into him. I am sick of being blamed and told that I am not being strict enough or giving him enough boundaries. But, I have no choice but to endure it. I have to advocate for my son, even though it is hard and daunting. I have to advocate for someone who regularly physically abuses me and terrorizes my family. It seems so ironic. If this were my spouse, people would believe me. If this were my parent, people would believe me. But, since it is my child, people want to blame me. I am in a situation in which I have no choice but to try. Giving up simply is not an option. I never really understood what that meant, until now.